The highest aspects of Sadhana are experienced in relationship. Through our creating an energetic link with another person we set up a loop of energy, which ultimately can provide an upward spiral of consciousness for each other in relationship. Through aligned philosophical visions, passionate intentionality for the highest awakenings, good communication techniques, and regular, committed practice, the dance of relationship in the Tantric view becomes a practice of collaborative awakening. One of the fundamental dynamic processes in a good relationship is developing skill in the art of feedback.

The Art of Feedback starts with the intention of both the person giving the feedback, and the person who is receiving the feedback. In the Anusara community both the presenter and the receiver of the feedback are first and foremost considered part of the same kula, basically on the same team. We’re in the same community and therefore we have the same intention, which is really to serve the spirit of each other and the spirit of all of life as fully as possible. Our common intention is to artfully and effectively make things more beautiful, and to help bring out the goodness that is inherent in everything. We want to keep evolving in every way. Our vision is not just seeking a revelation of the intrinsic goodness, but it is seeing that goodness as an evolving power of creative energy (Shakti) in our lives. Therefore, we’re always striving for improvement. It’s not like, you have a revelation or an opening into your heart, and then you quit your sadhana since you think that you have it now. Instead it is, “Yes, I see that I’m good and I can also expand and evolve that goodness in its artistry”.

The fullness of Shiva-Shakti is ever-expanding in its creative delight. In the Shaiva-Shakta Tantric idea of Purna, (the idea of fullness, even perfection) you don’t just stop at the edge of fullness. Your essence is ever-expanding the embodied boundary of creativity and consciousness. So, within community one way we expand our consciousness is through creating beauty and love in relationships.

Interpersonal relationships are the most effective path to the Heart of everything. Of course, you can do things by yourself and it is totally necessary to have a lot of solitary practice and experience, yet at the same time, when we share Shakti with others—especially those that are similarly aligned with the same intention—we are doing it as collaborators and co-participants on a path of awakening.

So, in the feedback sharing each participant is aligned with the intention of wanting to help each other experience the ultimate freedom in every expanding moment of the artistry of life.

Anusara yoga community members mutually want to help each other. Each friend realizes that the only way we are going to more delightfully expand the revelation of the intrinsic truth is through communicating with each other. Expanding freedom can be gained through each other’s feedback. Feedback simply means that whatever I’m presenting, whatever I’m doing, whatever I’m saying, whatever I am putting out to the world, is going to reflect back to you. You must be open with the eyes of your Heart, so that the reflection is seen as clearly and as truthfully as possible.

We try to be radiantly clear mirrors for each other, so we reflect each other as truthfully as possible.

The Presenter of Feedback
The presenter of the feedback has the highest intention to enhance the good, and enhance life. So, the first thing that the presenter sees in the recipient is the Good. From the beginning of the feedback session the presenter points out the Shri in the recipient. If the presenter feels that it could help, then a restatement of the unified intention of the kula members can be made.

The basic structure of the presenters feedback is: “So, here’s what I think you are really doing well, and here’s what I think can be improved.”

The feedback is not a presentation of what’s wrong. It is never about discrediting, diminishing, dismissing, or discouraging. Presenting feedback is never to diss. at all. It’s only about expanding into more freedom of the Heart.

There’s no reason to give feedback if it can’t expand somebody’s consciousness with it. In fact, if you have somebody who makes it clear that you two are not aligned in your vision or in your hearts, then it is questionable if any feedback would be effective. If someone tells you that they do not want your feedback, then it is good to be silent and wait to see if the friend could become open to new information or energy, which could help to expand the Shri.

The Recipient of Feedback
The person receiving the feedback has to simply just listen initially. It is the first principle. In the beginning of a communication with someone, contracting or tightening down will reduce the connection. Instead, open softly and become vulnerable to what you’re about to hear and see. You know from the beginning that the reflected light is not always straight and true. Even though you know that the feedback is filtered light and is not perfectly accurate, it is still useful feedback. It will certainly give some indication how your intentions are being manifest and perceived. If you are getting feedback that your results are quite different than your intended effect, then that is very helpful.

Rather than immediately being defensive or blocking the feedback, simply pause in silence and receive it fully. Take it inside, assimilate, and then contemplate it. In the pause, simply say thanks for the feedback. Then reiterate back to the person giving the feedback, try to say what they said. “What I hear you saying is that I had strengths in some particular aspects, and I have some aspects to improve. Correct?” Become very clear about what exactly the presenter is expressing in the feedback by repeating back what you understood to be expressed.

In the beginning of the feedback session the recipient should pause a lot to contemplate, “Why is the presenter thinking these are my areas for improvement”. Again, the presenter might be really off in their perspective, but what if several people have the same viewpoint? So, although your intention was perhaps not at all understood, you get the benefit of knowing what some people are thinking about your actions or words. The feedback helps you to adjust the expression of your intention, so that you get the desired results that you wish.

***
So in summary, I think the best way to receive feedback is to simply:

• Reiterate what you’re hearing.

• Thank the person for their feedback.

• Thank them for offering the positive feedback first.

• Reaffirm what you understand needs to be improved.

• Reaffirm the collaborative vision of the community.

Ask how you could be more effective is expressing your intention the next time. Let the presenter offer ideas on doing it another way. This can spark a wonderful dialogue about future visioning. Learning to expand the dance goes both ways.  You might get some new, great ideas of expanding your art, your dance.

• Excuses don’t help. If our mutual intention is to dance for awakening, then spacious listening and a willingness to grow through the reflection of our well-intentional kula members will provide the basis for harmonious dancing.

“All right, I hear you. It’s not what I meant. Thank you for sharing your feedback with me. Can you please offer any additional suggestions for better aligning myself now and the future. How could I have done better?” In this conversation the community friends facilitate each other’s improvement.  When everyone in the community flows in the feedback loop like this, then we’re all going to grow and improve. If the structure of the art of feedback is not followed, then we’re just diminishing the power of our community and we’ll create fragmentation and disunity. Ultimately, the feedback process is part of the art of helping each other to awaken.

• Be clear with the presenter that you will go consider the feedback, and that you will always try to improve yourself.

The presenter and the recipient in the Art of Feedback can help each other awaken to our highest potential of creative delight by aligning with the Universal flow of Shiva-Shakti. Step into the current of Grace, and be Anusara.

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 13th, 2009 at 7:29 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.